What creating, failing, and starting over taught me about passion and planning
Loving the Act of Creating
I’ve come to the conclusion that I truly love to create. I love talking to people about my life experiences and showing that I’m actually pretty relatable. A lot of people wouldn’t think that at first glance, but once they hear my story or spend a little time talking with me, they tend to see me differently.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that my “life’s task” might simply be to tell my story. Not because it’s extraordinary, but because it’s honest. Because honesty has a way of connecting people in ways polished perfection never really does. The problem was that I only came to this realization recently, and I hadn’t yet figured out what it meant to turn that awareness into something intentional.
Creating Without a Long-Term Plan
Before retiring from the Army, I streamed on Twitch on a regular basis. The reason was simple: I wanted an excuse to play video games and maybe make a few friends who liked the same things I did. There was no larger strategy behind it. It was just something that felt right at the time.
After I retired, my thinking shifted. I believed that since I had my Army retirement and VA disability coming in, I could use that time to focus on content creation — YouTube videos, podcasts, and writing. Along the way, I discovered how much I enjoyed sharing positive perspectives about everyday emotions, personal struggles, and resilience. Connecting with people through that honesty felt natural, and it became the most fulfilling part of creating.
When Reality Pushes Back
Eventually, reality caught up with me. Even with steady income, I found myself dealing with financial hardship. That experience was difficult, not just financially, but emotionally and mentally as well. Stress increased. Relationships felt the pressure. The excitement that once fueled everything began to fade under the weight of real-world consequences.
It forced me to confront a hard truth: momentum and passion can sometimes hide the things we fail to plan for. I wasn’t failing, but I also wasn’t being as intentional as I needed to be. Some lessons only truly land when you experience them firsthand.
Passion Opens the Door, Planning Keeps You Standing
What I learned through all of this is simple, but important. I knew I loved creating. I knew I enjoyed being relatable and helping people feel seen. But I also learned that chasing passion without structure can lead to burnout, instability, and unintended consequences.
Loving what you do can open the door, but planning is what keeps the floor from collapsing underneath you. Passion might get you started, but sustainability is what allows you to keep going.
Moving Forward With Intention
Now, I’m trying to take everything I’ve learned — the creative side, the storytelling side, and the hard lessons — and move forward with more awareness and intention. I’m still experimenting. I’m still learning. But this time, I’m doing it with a clearer understanding of myself and the path I’m choosing.
Loving what you do matters.
But learning how to do it sustainably matters even more.
Author’s Note
This piece was inspired by ideas explored during my graduate studies and influenced by thinkers and creators such as Robert Greene, Tom Kelley, and Ava DuVernay.
thegamelagjournal.com 